the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
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