I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
why is half of my head shaved?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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