She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
