I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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