in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
My dick has a subreddit
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
