dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
