Swine flu. Run for my life!
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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