my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
