You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
