I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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