I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
