is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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