I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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