like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
