is your mom at the bar?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize