can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Randomize
