I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
