all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
