Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
