she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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