But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
