I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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