it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
