I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
