How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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