I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
