Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
