I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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