My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
