how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
