Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
