Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
