just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize