I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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