Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
