Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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