if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
