He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
