well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
This is the high leading the old right now
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
