nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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