If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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