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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
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