She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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