What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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