he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
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