Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
