"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
our cab driver is having phone sex.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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