so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
