At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize