i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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