It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
