guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
