You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
