Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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