I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
