she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
