Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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