Are we in a gay sports bar?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
