I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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