Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
