whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
MIDGETS
????
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
