i can't believe i had my finger in that
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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