I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
