singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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