using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
