thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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