how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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