their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Randomize
