So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
