wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
