I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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