Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
