I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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