you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize