his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
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