are you still at the devil's house?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
