God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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